Hello travelers, I can’t say ‘fellow travelers’ because I’ve never been anywhere. I'm pretty much rooted to one place. Remember me? I’m Vesuvius. Yes, the volcano. Here's my yearbook picture on the left. I see there are a couple of people in the back who look like they never heard of me. Well, my name is Vesuvius and I’m all powerful. Back in 79 AD I wreaked some havoc, here let me show you…
See, you should all fear me. I deserve respect! And I’m not getting it. Here’s the thing, now that I have internet access I Googled myself - yeah, I did, so what? I bet you’ve done it too! Anyway, here’s the thing, you know when you pose for a picture and the moron on the other side of the camera chops off the top of your head? Or your entire left side? Then you look at the picture and you think ‘damn that would have been a great picture if I had a head’. Well that’s what’s happening to me. You morons are chopping off my right side on all your pictures.
This is half of me! There is a whole other side on the right. Apparently you see a peak and you think that’s the whole mountain, but I’m not a mountain, I’m a volcano… don’t make me show you. There’s a left side with a crater and then a right side.
See! There just behind the column in the temple of Apollo, a whole right side!
There! See, a left side, with a crater and then a right side! Sheesh! In my yearbook picture above you can see I was one mountain. So if you draw the lines extending from my right and left side you get an idea of the power of the explosion in 79 AD and devastation I am able to cause when I'm angry.
Well, I just wanted to say that I’m getting angry at all the pictures of me without a right side.
Don’t make me angry, you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.
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