Saudade

There are things about Portuguese that bother me. First, it's chauvinistic, if you have a group of 10 thousand women and one man, the group is referred to in the masculine 'eles' rather than the feminine 'elas'. Second, it has a formality that is disguised as respect but is designed to increase the divide between the social classes. And it all pisses me off a little bit.

However, there is one word in Portuguese that has no English equivalent. - There are several really, and vice-versa, but let’s pretend there is only this one. - The word is SAUDADE. It expresses an emotion. The emotion itself is felt by all people regardless of the language they speak, but for some reason the Portuguese decided to give it a name while the English decided that it was better not to discuss one’s emotions. In English you would say that you miss someone or something, that you are homesick for a place or that you long to return somewhere. You might even say that you miss someone so much that it hurts. But then you also miss ice-cream when you are on a diet, and the bus when you’re late. Saudade is more than that. It's the empty feeling inside, the gaping hole in your soul caused by the absence of the object of love, it's the physical pain that makes you sob with grief in the absence of someone you love. It's what comes over you when you watch a plane take off, carrying someone you love away from you, or carrying you away from a place you never want to leave. It's so powerful that when you make plans to see the object of affection for which you feel saudade you don't say you are going to get over, or get rid of your saudade. You say that you are going to “kill” it; because the power it has over you almost gives it life. Needless to say, it is a word often used in poetry and lyrics. According to some songs, if you don't kill saudade, saudade will eventually kill you. My favorite lyricist described saudade as tidying the room of a son who has died. It's a very powerful word and emotion.

It's not a depressing word. You only get to feel saudade if you have loved in the same measure. It may be the price we all pay for giving our hearts and isn't it always better to have loved and lost…