Brazilian Christmas is out to get me

Brazil is a tropical country.  Always has been. Christmas in Brazil is smack dab in the middle of summer, a tropical summer.  Temperatures hover around 32C and 38C (89-100F), needless to say there is not one single solitary flake of snow anywhere in the country.  It’s a large country but you can look on the highest mountain top and the lowest valley, you’re not going to find snow. Not one spec of it.  Brazil also has a varied culture based on African and European ancestries and Brazilians in general are proud of their heritages and traditions.  So explain something to me, if it wouldn’t be too much trouble.  Why is this the Christmas decoration in every single shopping center in the country?

Why does Santa wear a long winter coat and warm winter hat while dripping with perspiration and cursing Christmas, his damned job and probably every child who sits on his lap? There are no candy canes here people! There is no candy cane tradition, Brazilians have never seen an actual candy cane.

Somewhere along the way American and European shopping centers discovered that Christmas decorations increase sales.  Brazilian shopping centers imported the concept along with the temperature and country inappropriate decorations and presto.  Here we are. 

Personally I’m convinced it’s a plot to annoy me.  Yes, me personally.  I’m the only one who seems to mind the ice skating polar bears and snow sleds, everyone else thinks they are great.  Don’t you just hate it when an entire holiday conspires to annoy you personally?  Well I’ll just show it!  Next year I’m going somewhere with snow and Brazilians can photograph their dancing penguin decorations and watch their culture sell-out and deteriorate in the name of higher shopping center sales. There are those who say I should simply not care and enjoy the holiday, obviously those are just crazy people who don’t understand that the Brazilian Christmas is out to get me. Next year I'm going to get a snow shovel, just like Mel Edison in Prisoner of Second Avenue and I'll show them. I'll show them all, bwa ha ha.