Saturday, June 26, 2010

Another fact based theory

There is no reason to believe dinosaurs behaved any differently than animals today. After compiling information from an array of experts in the field I have reached the following fact-based, logical conclusion:

T-Rex used to wake up in the morning, uncurl himself, stretch, yawn and then he would shake himself. The shaking motion would start at the tip of his snout and work its way over the body until it reached the tip of the tail. His floppy ears would make a flap flap sound as he shook. He would then look around, yawn again and meow softly.

What? You don't think so? Well I figured that since no criminal charges were brought against GWB and Cheney, Palin and Rand Paul have a political careers, BP can freely state that all of the 5000 barrels-a-day are on the surface and Glenn Beck has an audience... I could pretty much say whatever I wanted and someone would buy it ... grant me it was worth a shot, I'm thinking of having my fact based theory made into a Fox News special...

Speaking of rhetoric people believe... is Guantanamo closed yet? (well, I believed that one too)

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Tuesday, June 22, 2010

When god is busy we get to live another day

God to us is nothing more than a superior being. A being that for whatever chance of evolution or fate has powers that to us seem omnipotent. A being that is able to control our existence to suit his will. But as with everything in life, that is nothing more than perception - to a ladybug I may be god: omnipotent, omnipresent and indecipherable. I'm convinced my dog thinks I'm some kind of deity; this faith is reinforced every time I leave the house empty handed and come back with a roast chicken... An essay written by a friend of my mother's first made me consider this concept. It was written in Portuguese and I haven't read since I had enough youth to ponder such things, but it stayed with me. He described being in the bathroom performing his morning ablutions when he noticed a mosquito on the wall. He thought of swatting it but he was busy at that moment and so the mosquito got a stay of execution until god was ready to leave the bathroom. For at that moment he felt like god; he imagined that for that mosquito he held the power of life and death, he was the supreme being, he had absolute power and wondered if the mosquito knew that it shared a bathroom with god. He was amused by the thought and continued to shave. By the time he was done shaving, the cares of everyday had occupied his mind and the mosquito had been forgotten. He left the bathroom and the mosquito lived. It lived because god had a careless moment.

The thought that we may owe our existence to god's busy schedule still amuses me.

The author of the story that stayed with me all these years was Ibere Camargo, a brilliant man. Sorry I don't have the reference, but the book is in my mother's library and I don't have it with me. I believe it was called No Andar do Tempo.

Friday, June 18, 2010

good manners requires proximity

I'm for freedom of speech, even when the speech is contrary to my own convictions. In life, out in the real world you can't avoid running into people who think differently than you; there are going to be right wing republicans in your workplace or social circles, it can't be avoided. In real life you have to deal with people politely and with civility even if their response to your "good morning" is "wasn't Bush's speech great last nigh?" In real life you can't turn to that person and say "It wasn't, you only think it was because you are a complete moron." Social norm and what has evolved to be our concept politeness and civility don't allow for such interactions. In an office situation you might be fired for such an exchange, and rightly so.

The online universe is redefining our social behaviors. On Twitter the situation I described happens everyday. Instead of politely unfollowing someone they don't like, people often choose to lash out with expletives they probably would not use in the workplace or in a public setting. Frequently it doesn't end there, the offending party becomes offended and retorts in kind. There is something about the facelessness of online communication that brings out the worst in us. Even if your account is not anonymous, you are not face to face with the other party and that somehow makes people more likely to be rude, belligerent and obnoxious. To us distance seems to be some sort of diplomatic immunity.

Long before we were rude to each other online there existed another great example that human politeness is restricted to personal contact situations. Traffic. Yes, before the internet there were automobiles. The lack of personal contact between drivers frequently becomes road-rage. You would never chase down a co-worker and beat him with your bare fists because he cut in front of you or even bumped into you in the hallway. But warp a ton of steel around your ass and that is exactly what you do.

Apparently good manners requires proximity. I wonder why that is?

Saturday, June 12, 2010

IQ test for BP executives, do you have what it takes?

Connect the picture to the corresponding description